I’m pretty broken up about Bristol and Levi but not as broken up as they are. Zing!
Yes, I know I already Twittered that. But I wanted to keep it around for posterity. Speaking of Twitter, I am loving this #fuckitlist thing, wherein people list things they will never do (this is as opposed to composing a “bucket list,” where you make a list of things to do before you die or before you make two hours of inane, waste-of-celluloid-and-talent Christmastime pap).
Choice samples from the Twitterati’s #fuckitlist:
#Fuckitlist – Learn to speak French. I mean, really, what’s the point? A few well mangled words out of a phrase book and they speak English.”
“Upon my death I will have never seen all of the avante guarde films of Andy Warhol nor ever have volunteered for the Rose Parade #fuckitlist”
“#fuckitlist Eat turducken”
“#fuckitlist: learn ballet.”
“#fuckitlist Saving for retirement. I’ll just shoot myself at 45.”
“#fuckitlist getting tickets to Jimmy Fallon”
“#fuckitlist Make a turducken.”
“#fuckitlist: give country music a chance.”
“#fuckitlist pay off all my debt, get arrested in Mexico, oh yeah, join a dance troup or the circus”
“#fuckitlist Read Twilight or Harry Potter, pay for cable, drink beer, eat raw meat, become a sumo wrestler”
“#fuckitlist Getting tickets to The Price is Right”
“Watch The Godfather #fuckitlist”
The hostility cheers me right up somehow. Things are basically better, anyway, as always happens: darkest before dawn, right? I mean, not in Darfur, where it’s darker before the dark continues and it’s like fucking Narnia over there — always winter and never Christmas — but here in America, for us privileged folks.
Darkest before dawn! Only hours after writing that last post about broker-monsters, I met a kind, funny, and helpful guy who found me a large one-bedroom on Montague Street in Brooklyn Heights in my price range with high ceilings and laundry in the apartment. Then he convinced the owner to pay the broker’s fee and didn’t ask for any money for either the application or the credit check. Basically he did everything but secure me a three-book deal with HarperCollins. Mr. Ben and I are very grateful and we should be signing the lease in the next day or so.
Take that, broker-monsters!
Still no job, though.