8:30: Wake up after a solid five hours sleep. No point lollygagging about — must get going! If 2009 is to be a Year of Wow despite this recent setback, there’s work to be done.

8:45: Breakfast. Read more condolence emails. Scoped out red carpet dresses from the Golden Globes, which I more or less forgot to watch last night. Kate Winslet looks fantastic double-fisting golden statues.

9:00: Job search begins.

9:10: God this is depressing.

9:15: Why am I even bothering? There’s nothing here and anyway I have no idea what I want to do.

9:30: Try to apply for unemployment. Log in rejected because the site insists I don’t know my mother’s maiden name. This reminds when of when my father said “Bastard” once when I was a kid, and I asked him what it meant. An honest man, he replied, “Someone who doesn’t know who their father is.” For a while thereafter I assumed a bastard must be someone very, very dumb.

9:35: Craigslist should come with a warning that says “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” Mediabistro, Bookjobs, Monster are no better. Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms.

10:00: Abandon pathetic efforts in favor of watching the first Harry Potter movie. Will try being responsible again after lunch.