Conversation with a co-worker:
Me: I have to go to the post office to buy a couple stamps.
Her: Why not use the stamp machine here?
Me: Because that would be stealing.
Her: Nah, everyone does it.
Me: You know, at my last office, we had a long conversation about whether it was okay to ask for a cup of water at Chipotle and then fill the cup with soda. For some reason, everyone thought that was fine!
Her: Sure!
Me: Do you do that?
Her: Of course. Well, I don’t go to Chipotle. But I used to shoplift sweaters from H&M all the time. I was kind of a klepto when I was a kid. It was fun! The sweaters were too small for me, even.
Me: I was the kind of kid who never smoked, never cheated, never stole …
Her: Ugh — moral.
Me: Except I’m not a “good person.”
Her: I know!
Me: Hey!
Her: Well, I knew what you meant.
Me: Yeah. I don’t know, I just had an inborn sense, from the time that I was little, that some things were wrong and so I never wanted to do them. You know what I mean?
[Pause]
Her: I really liked stealing penny candy, too.
Actually, I didn't think that was fine. JG thought it was fine and, as I recall, both of us argued with him about it. That said, last week, I did ask for extra salsa on my tacos, and scooped it up with chips so that I didn't have to spend a dollar on salsa.
Of course you are a good person! And whoa about your coworker's Winona tendencies.
That's terrible! Good for you for being an honest person. Stealing stamps is not right, but understandable if you only do it once or twice, taking soda is a breach of good faith and edging towards bad person territory, but shoplifting is criminal. I'm sorry your coworker is a sociopath!