ahhhhhhhh … it feels wonderful to sit down. jay and ilana and i spent the whole day walking: marched w/ the dykes up from dupont to adams morgan, shouting the slogans and otherwise being supportive. we were there w/ liz, who’s queer, a friend of hers from smith, and annie, a friend of ilana’s who was like best friends w/ liz when they were little. funny: they separated years ago but grew up to be similar people and lead parallel lives.

in the park where the march ended, a bunch of girls took their shirts off and ran around, whooping it up topless. about fifteen firemen appeared and just sat and watched, grinning.

then everyone got in a huge circle and started playing spin the bottle, at which we point we left.

jay, ilana, and i split off, had wonderful ethiopean food for dinner @ meskerem, and then walked it off, making it all the way up to van ness where jay lives and we’d parked ilana’s car on foot. we argued about whether having a “permanent long-term significant other” (ilana) was the definition of success, or to what extent it factored in. the idea sort of upsets me b/c i like to think i’m a realist in general — and i know that realistically that doesn’t happen for plenty of people. realistically, the odds are against it.

i don’t want to feel like a failure if i’m 45, i have a fulfilling-type job, satisfying relationships w/ people, respect and enuf money, but no PLTSO.

people have different values. i guess there’s no one formula for happiness that fits everyone.

still, it also scares me to think that romantic relationships are that important, even tho i have one at the moment.

bought a ben folds five cd — listening to it now. ilana and i are about to go join other friends for prototypical suburban good-kid fun in rockville. yumm.

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