laptops or cigarettes

my lil brother came home with an armful of laptops this afternoon. reminds me of that simpsons dialog:

fat tony: bart, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?

bart: no.

fat tony: imagine you have a big starving family. is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread?

bart: i guess not.

fat tony: now, what if your family don’t like bread? what if they like — cigarettes? is it okay to steal a truckload of cigarettes?

bart: hell no!

of course, my lil brother is not a thief. this powerbook g4 on my lap right now? was got via legitimate means.

speaking of legitimate means, my other brother and i went shopping for a dog today at the humane society. we went to two places. ever been to an animal rescue? it breaks your heart. i couldn’t stand it at first. all the dogs start barking at once, throwing themselves (in the cutest possible way) at the bars, wagging their tails to beat the band. forget solar power, man: you should hook up a generator to the noise and wag-generated wind you get when someone visits those dogs.

the one we ultimately applied for is a lab/shep mix, 3 years old, sweet-tempered and pretty. too bad i won’t be around to get to know her. cty tomorrow, and for six weeks thereafter.

now somebody make me a manhattan.

lilypad to lilypad

today while making eggs my brother complimented me on my “quick turnaround.” you only graduated, what, three weeks ago?, he said, adding more green chile. and now you have a new profession and a new area code.

the new profession is vague enough that i don’t know how to describe it in broad strokes. i work in the entertainment industry. how bout that? i will work, starting on august 23, for the Company: after three interviews, a grammar test and a typing test, and a check on three references, they hired me. i’ll be a FLOATER. not the most glamorous position in the world, and let me tell you, it certainly doesn’t come borne on the wings of a glamorous salary. but i’ll get to rub my nose in the business end of the artsy world and it’s enough to pay the rent.

speaking of the rent, allow me to introduce you to my sweet new area code: 10003. say hi, baby. (baby’s the east village. still, she’s very quiet: fourth-floor walk-up, you know, no air-conditioning or anything, just one of many. she’s got some walls though, let me tell you — they come up to here! and the kitchen! *whistle* you could fit an table in there!)

before this gets any dirtier, perhaps i should mention that on our last night in new york ben and i watched spike tv’s uncut rendition of godfather, and i’ve come home only to join my brothers in watching the parade of sopranos seasons 1 – 3 dvds judah got me as a graduation gift. it’s going to be quite a shift on thursday when i pack my bags and haul ass to cty – johns hopkins, remake myself in the image of a role model and never curse no more.

it has all happened quickly. part of me wishes i had more time to lounge around and contemplate the vast puberty-like changes happening to my increasingly curvy, alarmingly hairy life. maybe i’ll explode sometime around december with the repressed stress of the past few months. on the bright side, by that point, i’ll have health insurance. & dental!

no time! rye playland awaits!

okay, a real update, albeit a quick one:

i have an apartment!

i have a job!

it’s all settled, and ben and i are going to go be juvenile for an afternoon in celebration. more later.

exhaustion

new york again. new york means stress. although being lodged with ben is lovely, we’re stuck spending the time we have together on our summer break searching desperately for apartments.

we had the world’s worst luck our first day out: we found the Perfect Apartment. perfect location (on ben’s favorite street in the village, a 5 minute walk from the NYU law building), lots of space, a big room, chill roommates, starting august 1 and in our price range. no fees, either.

we promised our first-born child to the girl who showed us around in exchange for the place; but she just smiled complacently and went along her merry, midwestern way, handing our Perfect Apartment over to someone else.

we know that would happen. we left feeling rotten, and wandering around the Perfect neighborhood didn’t exactly help.

there’s hope — we’re not through yet. we have entire days of searching left before we consign ourselves to despair. and/or brooklyn.

also, my grandma is a riot

grandma: i didn’t like going to nyu. it was full of all sorts of distasteful people, people you wouldn’t want to associate with. you know, new yorkers.

then, later,

my dad [recommending a bottle of sherry to a guest]: here, have some. it’s barely alcoholic, it’s old lady sherry.

my mother: paul!

dad: i’m sorry. it’s grandma sherry. [to the guest] it’s okay, she doesn’t catch every word of the conversation anyway.

grandma: yes, but you never know which words i do catch.

keeps us all on our toes. i heart my family.

boys without eyebrows

back from new york, for now. it was a whirlwind couple of days. i was dressed to receive the city this time so i felt more civilly treated by it; it’s amazing how much difference an Outfit, a haircut, and a new black purse can make.

& today, i took my first pill. i mean first ever, people. that was my final obstacle on the road to adulthood, besides filing taxes and childbirth.

save the congratulations to be given in a bundle once my job offers come tidal waving in, a whole whopping two of them, potentially. & get this: i’d have to CHOOSE one or the other! amazing, isn’t it? at the moment, it seems like an easy choice, since for one i’d make a salary and for the other i wouldn’t. much as i’d enjoy job #2 more, i have this itch to be financially independent which is directing me to job #1.

assuming i get offered either. but the interviews went well. i’m hoping.

breakfast conversation in honor of r.r.

D: i think reagan had one black in his cabinet.

A: minister of “get that, would you?”

D: reagan made the guy head of housing and urban development. barely saw him. one day, the guy was in a receiving line with all the other cabinet ministers and reagan said to him, “hello, what’s your name?”

me: [still laughing at “get that, would you?”]

now, off to new york.

yayyyyyyyyy!!

so much to be happy about. first of all, i saw the new harry potter movie. as the reviewer, with whom i entirely agree, says, it’s not perfect — but it’s far better than either of the two others, much more in touch with the spirit of the books, and quite possible as close as any hollywood movie will get to being as good. parts are heart-stopping, visually beautiful. others are weirdly paced. but i was satisfied.

second, and no less importantly, i just returned from a most excellent three day excursion to deep creek, md. with some of my best high skool friends, and the best friends i will likely make in my life, i rented a house, lazed by the lake, read, watched movies, hiked to waterfalls, wandered through an antique drug-store, and ate my first turkey sandwich in five years.

really — we took pictures.

it was exactly what i needed after an exorcist-ish graduation (you know, it spun my head around). finally, a chance to process, and to process with those who know me well.

last but not least, a woman called inviting me to another interview in new york. i already have one on monday, my third with The Company; this one, out of the blue, is for another Company, and it seems too serendipitious for words. i’ll post more after tuesday when i have a better sense of whether this is just fate teasing me again.

1000 words

don’t i look official?

extended scream

did you know that newyork.craigslist.com (as opposed to the real new york craiglist) is a porn site? that’s intense. you know you’ve made it when someone creates a near-miss copy of your site featuring a vixen with a vibrator.

anyhoo, here i am! home. this weekend was super intense and at the same time weirdly emotionless. i think i was unable to comprehend the significance of anything, which is why i didn’t get sick & didn’t cry except for a moment, sunday afternoon, when my mom sent me to say goodbye to folks while she finished packing my stuff. i wandered around campus, unable to locate anyone, and sobbed.

three feasts, each lasting three-and-a-half hours or more, with my entourage of 15 or 16 well-wishers, swallowed large chunks of the weekend. but not in a bad way: i love my family and it was moving to see everyone assembled. for me, too! the following dialogue occurred at any pause in the conversation:

someone: so, graduate! do you feel different?

me: nope

someone: … how bout now?

i still don’t feel different, or anything really, so don’t ask. i’m not tense, overwhelmed, anxious, excited, happy, nostalgic, or maudlin. the reality hasn’t hit me. i’m a graduate, and never has postmodernism felt so apt. schizophrenia: perpetual present: that’s how i feel. no future, no past. here i am, in the moment. home.