gurgling death
fiddlesticks! are you telling me my new favorite summer pastime is over? evening after evening, several of us would crowd into natalie’s room. we called it “jewpardy!” because the four of us most devoted are — well, clearly, half-danish and half-lebanese. we four, and our hangers-on, would chomp starburst as we called out the answers, occasionally proving ourselves smarter than kenjen.
that final jeopardy! question, about which 2 20th century american presidents have middle names of other american presidents? i was all over that. i was the first person in the room to call it; and kenjen was the only contestant to get it. sometimes, kenjen and i, we felt like we were on the same wavelength.
and you’re going to take that away from me? til september? by september, i won’t NEED 30 minutes of Adult World anymore. here, it’s a lifesaver. consider the commercials: because apparently the average age of a jeopardy! viewer is 109, we get a metamucil competitor, perscription pills for heart disease, and, of course, Depends. (the commercial features an aged Thelma and Louise-type duo who travel the country, laughing and letting the wind blow through their hair, because they’re free! free! from the tyranny of toilets.)
it’s our antidote to the other 23 and a half hours of the day, wherein we’re responsible to children who weren’t ex-utero when madonna was cool. my god, alex! take that stupid smirk off your face and tell me: what are we supposed to do now?