… G-chat style. It’s like watching the first amphibious being crawl out of the muck onto land, look around, sniff the air, and realize that oxygen is AWESOME. Here it is a catalog, inspired by this piece of radical honesty, of Early Gchats.

There is:

The early gchat where you rave about gchat

me: [Friend]?
[Friend]: oh weird. is this the chat function thing? hi!!
me: hi!!
i love gmail
[Friend]: yeah, this is fabulous. what are you up to?
me: i’m watching Gilmore Girls on dvd while lying in bed

*

The early gchat with the best greeting ever

[Friend 2]: hi hi
bad day
i mean good morning

*

The early gchat that falls on deaf ears

me: hey, how you doing?
[silence]
or do you not believe in google chat?
[silence]

*

The early gchat that is all about emoticons and not being able to gchat

[Friend 3] watch this: 🙂
me: hey! why didn’t mine do that?
🙂
the heart is super cute too: <3
[Friend 3]: the nose! OMG! the heart! i didn’t know that.
me: isn’t it great? i love gmail
so how you doing?
[Friend 3]: i’m a doing ok. you?
i actually was on my way out the door to grocery shop b/4 i missed too much proj. runway–can i call you?
me: oh, sure 🙂

*

The super-romantic early gchat

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT AHEAD

me: sorry, were you asking whether I would like to make popcorn?

[boy]: i think so.

me: ah. a misunderstanding
also, what’s this nervousness about the bar? you’re 1.5 years away from having to take it

[boy]: you’re pretty hot.

me: does this count as cyber … ?

[boy]: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

don’t use that word!

me: why not?

[boy]: groooooooooss

me: doesn’t it turn you on?

cyyyyyyyyyyyyyyber

[boy]: eeew ew ew ew

me: come cyyyyyyyyyber with me, honeypie

[boy]: ok, FINE, let’s CYBER

me: okay FINE! take off your pants

[boy]: NO!

me: fine!

[boy]: heh

[boy]: so would you like to make popcorn?
popcorn?
chhhhhhhat