Monthly Archives: October 2008

life in new york, the moth

True Calling: Not a Hater, a Judge

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For the second time since I’ve been in New York, I attended the Moth, a live storytelling competition that travels from venue to venue (as well as to iTunes!). Last night it took place in the fabulous Union Hall in Park Slope. My friends and I got there early enough to snag seats, and our proximity to the stage and our Liberal Arts College vibes caught the host’s attention: she tapped us to serve as one of the three teams of judges who get to rate each story.

When asked to come up with a team name related to the evening’s topic of Blood, we were determined to justify her faith in us. So while the other two judging teams offered somewhat predictable ideas, “A Negative” and “True Blood,” we went with “First Blush.” Applause from the crowd! To which we replied, Enjoy your approval of us now because you will be booing us soon.

Yes, that’s right: we, the judging team of First Blush, were booed. Why? Because we have STANDARDS, dammit! We like (a) coherence; (b) things that are funny; (c) surprises. More importantly maybe we weren’t drinking, whereas by the end the hipsters packing the house were pretty tilty with wine.

I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that’s why they roared at cheap shots at fat and/or androgynous people. First Blush does not stand for that shit, no sir. We will bravely hold up a 7.9 for an utterly conventional, mundane story about you getting your period while wearing borrowed shorts if you, in the telling, direct unreasonable wrath at the massive “he/she” blocking your way to the bathroom. Or your self-hating story about being a chubby kid who eats your brother’s birthday cake during the night, including the line “I was fat but crafty,” which involves no blood being spilt at all.

We did unite with the crowd most of the time. We gave a great score to the eventual winner, a guy whose tale about getting cheap, painful, and inept plastic surgery in college made everyone wail and cringe in sympathy. The runner up, who talked about the time he almost died after being stabbed by the Latin Kings and then, when he went home to recuperate, was thrown through the windshield of his brother’s car, also had us screaming. It’s a good scene, overall — if you’re in NY or LA, I definitely recommend going. And be a judge if you can! The power feels awesome and terrible in an Old Testament kind of way.

comedy, politix

MOST AWESOME

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While reading this Rachel Sklar liveblog of the Colbert New Yorker festival event, I followed her instructions and decided to see if, since Colbert and Stewart just decided to expand their shows through the election, there were any tickets. And this is what happened!

We have reserved 1 tickets for you to attend a live taping of The Colbert Report on 10/14/2008. In a short time you will receive an E-Mail at [redacted] containing information on the next steps required to confirm your attendance. YOU HAVE 48 HOURS TO CLICK ON THE LINK THAT WAS SENT TO YOU IN THE E-MAIL TO CONFIRM YOUR RESERVATION. If you do not confirm your reservation within 48 hours your tickets will be released.

I tried to get tickets for all of you too I swear but there was only one (1) left. Yes, I am one very lucky Rainbow Brite.

Mr. Ben and I hit up two New Yorker festival events this weekend too and they were awesome. And then, cuz we were all dressed up, we dropped in on Equus on Broadway, starring Captain Janeway, Uncle Vernon, and a naked Harry Potter. What a weekend.

fashion, our sarah

because i never blog about fashion

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These days, Emma Watson looks much less like a kid and much more like the Dutch au pairs who lived with us when I was little.

(via Go Fug Yourself)

Look, I did it! I made it through an entire blog post without mentioning Our Sarah! … Oh. Shit.

Speaking of Our Sarah, one of my coworkers approached me this afternoon and said, “You’re going to hate me but I actually watched the debates and I liked her! She seemed really great!” In an UNRELATED INCIDENT, another coworker approached me ten minutes later and, when I asked what his girlfriend did, said, “You’re going to hate me: She’s a model.”

“I can’t believe everyone thinks I’m a hater!” I said to a third coworker shortly thereafter.

“You do hate a lot,” she answered kindly.

Yikes! When did I get this alarming reputation? Let’s clear this up. Here is a FULL LIST of the things I hate:

  • One-word footwear (Uggs, Crocs)
  • Dippy, sentimental movies that are a waste of talent and often have offensive subtexts (Love, Actually, Serendipity, 200 Cigarettes)
  • Dictators, except wacky ones straight out of Douglas Adams who force all citizens to read their poetry
  • Mmm injustice? Unfairness? Stuff like that.

And that’s it! Seriously! Now am I a My Little Pony or am I not?

debates, our sarah, politix

"What’s six times seven?" "No, stuff she knows!"

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For posterity, I wanted to capture this, from FiveThirtyEight, whose name reflects how many times I click over there every day:

Right now, on Oct 2, 2008, it’s predicting an Obama victory with 336 electoral votes. This is pre-debate, mind you.

ETA: Post-debate! Palin needs to stop winking at me. It’s disturbing. Either she wants to fuck me or she wants to fuck with me — either way, I don’t like it.

Where I grew up, and that’s Washington, D.C., and I know that’s not Scranton or Wasilla or one of them Real Places with Main Streets, so I figure that means we kill every fourth born child and roast its flesh on the National Mall as we dance around naked, flinging out feces in the direction of the Reflecting Pool and singing about how much we love corruption and hate mavericks, but where I grew up in Washington D.C. … I forget where I was going with this. Let me start again.

God bless Joe Biden. If Sarah Palin wasn’t about to fall down literally foaming at the mouth, and I knew she wasn’t, they would never let her go out there unprepared, then he had to really bring it. He had to be knowledgeable but not abstract, intelligent but not arrogant, forceful but not condescending, and he did it, he really did. Honestly, I think he did it by not watching any of those Katie Couric interviews or the fabulous Tina Fey parodies, which enabled him to go into the debate with real respect for Our Sarah.

People are going to be buzzing for a while about how she didn’t knock her own eye out or start speaking in tongues or striptease into a Betty Boop outfit. And that’s true! She didn’t! That’s why I wanted to capture this image of the map showing America swooning for Obama, because Palin is going to, I think, deliver a bounce to McCain — hopefully not the entirety of what he lost over the past couple weeks, but I think she’ll help him make back some of that ground.

When that clapping dies down, I hope everyone remembers to say, But Biden did better. and That is the man who is seasoned and capable enough to be Vice President of the United States.