esterbloom.com

The inappropriate entry

This is going to be short, but it is also going to unsuitable reading material for adults of any relation to me. ADULTS: I’m not kidding. Read on at your peril.

First of all, did you know amazon.com sells sex toys? Fo shizzle! And get your credit card ready to call now, cuz they’re just-fell-off-a-truck cheap. (Not used, though. Just fell-off-a-truck.)

Secondly, remember that story about the man who was fucked to death by a horse in Washington state? (ADULTS! I told you: PERIL.) Apparently its ripple effect has yet to subside. A Republican state senator has introduced legislation making beastiality officially illegal. Although such a law makes sense to me — especially as a vegetarian — I gotta wonder whether that horse fucking guy could have been deterred. I mean, someone whose need for horsecock fudgepacking is so strong that he’s willing to die for it has gotta be bigger than the laws of man can contain. (ADULTS! What’d I say? Why are you still here? Mom? Mom? Did you think I was joking?)

Last but not least, I’ve gone from Anna Karenina to mysteries of small houses, towelhead, and now the end of the affair by one of my emerging-favorite authors, graham greene. A good multi-culti mix, although I didn’t plan it that way. I’ve enjoyed/am enjoying all of the above, despite the (in my opinion) cop-out ending of Anna K. — such a wonderfully nonjudgemental book, and then the moral, appearing in the final 50 pages, is, Got Religion? ugh! — and the intensity of towelhead. In fact, I found the only way to get through the latter was to flip to the end of various sequences to assure myself they ended okay (“okay” being relative) before I could go back and read each through.

Okay, so that last part wasn’t obscene. … But it could have been. … Horsecock pudgepacking! (Mom!)