in case you’re dying to know
i “aced” the typing and the grammar tests at the Company yesterday, according to the nice lady who administered them. the only thing i got wrong on the grammar test, which turned out to also be a spelling test, was “correspondent.” i spelled it with an “a.” typing though: i did twice as well as they require you to. so.
however! lest you think that meant yesterday was a victory, heh heh, remember that my Good Luck Fairy is shooting up in a dark alley somewhere, trading jokes with the well-brandied inigo montoya, and that, this spring, i’m in the hairy, sadistic clutches of the Real Life Fairy. the Real Life Fairy squeezed hard when, in the impromptu interview with the director of human resources after my grammar&typing tests, mr. dhr informed me that —
if he likes me he’ll pass me to the vice president
if she likes me she’ll call me back for another interview (#3)
if she likes that, she’ll hand my file to a panel
if the panel likes me, they’ll call me back for ANOTHER interview (#4 — is the NSA this rigorous?)
if they like me, then … maybe i’ll get the job.
i left crushed, demoralized, hearing in the back of my head the cigar-in-mouth guffawing of my Real Life Fairy who, when i concentrate on picturing his florid face, looks remarkably like the evil man who phone-interviewed me for columbia. why is my imagination so short on villians that it produces the same one twice?