LOTR is titanic!

i really liked ROTK; i was even rooting for it to win best picture. but by the time the ceremony meandered to its vanishing point, i had no enthusiasm left for the film. it was a foregone conclusion from the first award and how many more times did we need to see peter jackson’s and fran walsh’s matted hair?

besides, giving the picture “best adapted screenplay” is a crock. yes, the trilogy was a huge achievement, but come on. best screenplay? someone did bring to my attention that screenplays consist of story as well as dialogue, god knows that’s true, but still, come on!, what dialogue there was was excusable at best. the screenplay categories are virtually all that’s given to small, deserving flicks like american splendor.

although one of my favorite moments came as francis ford leapt to his feet hollering for his daughter when she won. that, and when the two presenters in a row thanked the wives they’ve loved since middle school. take note: it’s way cuter to have loved since middle skool than since high. esp. if love in middle skool manifested itself by sending your lady live rats.

i wish bill murray had won. i’m glad charlize did. billy crystal was on about 75% of the time and what more can you ask? now: the top five best looking people at the 76 Academy Awards:

5) renee zellwegger who has evolved out of the emaciated chicago look.

4) angelina jolie (adam: what’s that smudge on her arm? me: that’s a tattoo. adam: that shouldn’t be allowed.)

3) catharine zeta-jones

2) johnny depp. involuntary shrieks erupted whene’er the camera looked his way.

1) diane keaton. bless you, woman; you looked stunning.

major props to gorgeous women susan sarandon and jamie lee curtis. the latter was quoted as saying, “i’ve never felt this beautiful.” and to the lovely adrian brody who not only looked smashing but made fun of himself onstage too.

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