i should live in a literary adaption. oscar wilde, jane austen, or shakespeare films always prod the same soft spot in my heart, and i think, shiny-eyed, i could succeed in that world! all one needs, it seems, besides money, is wit, curly hair, and very white breasts. just think how much fun it would be to bow all the time, and read small hardcover books and speak in full, decorous but subtly-loaded sentences. and oh, the men: formal, well-mannered, dry. each one as pointless as the next. no one does anything in these movies – have you noticed? they just get their hearts broken, and then cheer up and get married. and wear those beautiful dresses, which cover everything from the waist down; no one would ever know if you had a stomach or thunder thighs. at least no one until your husband, guaranteed to be the most confident and dashing of your suitors, and by then he’ll have already bought you and committed and ain’t nothing he could do.
ah well, maybe some lifetime.