somewhat allaying my unreasonable fear of next semester, my roommate-to-be offers the following: In terms of appliances/furtniture/other stuff for our room, I’m afraid I don’t bring much to the table. Not even a sexy ass. All I can offer is the excitement that I exude in palpable waves. I cannot wait to be your roommate.
Jocelyn, Ross, Joel, and yes, even Rebecca–none can even contend with the roommate I intend to be. Are you bringing a bed? What, are you too good for Swat-issued furniture? And if you are, can I have your twin? Ooh, I’d love to have a really monstrous bed! And then our entire room will just be two giant islands of sexy bedness, the floor will be merely a river dividing the two!!!!
meanwhile, i’ve been quickly humbled again by the scrabble gods. my opponent today followed my previous opponent’s strategy of using words she didn’t know the meanings of but had seen on previous boards (which, when i reinvent the game, will be an immediate 20 point deduction). she thrashed me. but in such pursuits, i am persistent to the point of obsessiveness: i never stopped playing Minesweeper, jezzball, or hearts until i felt confident i could quite hold my own. as long as i’m the only one to compete with, i’m tireless. it is only in the company of real people that i become self-conscious, timid, and withdrawing, as those of you who know me know well. the internet was made for such as me.