just got back from seeing the cutest, sweetest movie i’ve seen in a while — italian, which makes everything better — free, even more so — and w/ becca after eating warmcomfortable indian food — so perfect. i had a kickass rehearsal too where i got to take the reins as khadijah was busy w/ kwanzaa celebrations. i forget sometimes how much i like to do things on my own b/c i so often put myself into a subordinate, second position. it’s safer (no worries of failing) but it’s less fun and less rewarding. i left rehearsal thrilled, actually feeling like i’d accomplished something.
around 4:30 yesterday i wandered over to elizabeth’s room to say hi and ended up spending 7 straight hours in her company. louisa, cadelba, emily morris (who i’ve always thought was intimidating but turned out to be easy to talk to — and she laughed at my jokes! even the ones liz repeated to her that i was afraid might offend) and brigid (who i really want to be friends w/) also made cameos. liz and i watched greenaway’s awful version of The Tempest which got 10 points for being risky and different and -4,678 for being pretentious, pointless, unintelligible, gratutiously nude w/o being arousing, heavy-handed, pedantic, and dull. it was my fourth greenaway film and i mean it this time: i am not seeing another.
we kept going to sorelle’s room b/c liz intended to program but we just hung out instead. they make me really happy, i’m not sure why. i often felt freshmen year that the big lack in my life was that i didn’t have people to laugh with. that’s unreasonably important to me. people with well-developed senses of humor are way-the-hell-up-there in my pantheon.
they brought me to a QSA meeting which was also way less intimidating than i expected it to be and i finally left at 11:30. having not returned to the barn since i left at 8:50 a.m., i decided not to buck the trend and detoured to ben’s. every once in a while i remember how utterly lucky i am. it’s this silencing, humbling feeling i don’t know what to do w/, the kind you get from standing in a museum.
home tomorrow oh-so-briefly to see more people who i’m utterly lucky to know. wow i’ve got it good. i only wish i knew who to thank.