my week essentially ended yesterday. classes feel like an afterthought, like “oh yeah, i guess i should go do that …,” not particularly important. i don’t have huge weights on my mind. yet i’m still sweating and getting headaches which vary in position (so i know that they’re not signals of oncoming migranes, thank god) intensity and type of pain. the worst ones hit yesterday morning while i was struggling blearily to make it thru Murder!: the pain was extremely sharp, about the width and height of a coin slot, and located unusually on the middle-top of my head.
anyway, they’re just aftershocks i expect and will eventually fade out. i just sat w/ stefanie for about twenty minutes while she was trying to finish up three things before running to catch a train. as frazzled as she was, she also made excellent company. i find it easier to be a good person — think the thoughts a good person would think — around her. maybe her goodness is contagious. that’s not what makes her fun, of course, per se; but it adds a deeper element to the cheery-goodhumored-warmth everyone loves her for.
before that, i hung out w/ rosa at the study abroad office and hung out w/ ben (time w/ him! during the day! incredible) during which i babbled about how things shouldn’t be “reduced to science.” i mean, wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t have to know how things worked? we could just marvel at zippers or television; we could live in a perpetual state of awe. or make up myths that we didn’t really believe in but which served to comfort those who needed to know and entertain everyone else.
i alarmed my mother by not being coherent last nite. i guess i should just go to sleep before i do more damage. the strangest dreams keep plaguing me tho: last nite i dreamt i was in a fairy tale. seven other girls and i sat around a wooden table and each had one specific complaint she kept harping on. i don’t remember what mine was but i started pulling my hair out. i had this thick glossy black hair that fell halfway down my back and when i looked down after a certain point, i saw what must have been most of it in a sad-looking pile on the floor.