estrogen-sprung tears aside (i cried thru sherman alexie’s “comedy” smoke signals and then again when the mail came [“no diet coke needed”: perhaps — but it makes a damn good comfort food]) i’ve been much happier and more relaxed. my father got home yesterday, driving over to pick me up from liz’s where i was having shabbes dinner w/ her and ilana. much of the afternoon time, we spent in the kitchen as liz cooked and cooked and ilana sorrowfully recited umd’s shortcomings. difficult to gauge what exactly to say. create best combination of encouragement, looking-on-the-bright-side, you’ll-be-happy-anywhere w/ Fiske reccomendations? racking my once-glutted mental college directory: have you thought about middlebury? she loves vermont (tho she’s never been …) bates was founded by abolitionists … or what about haverford? maybe that’s me being selfish. that way i’d get her, becca (penn), and ben (u. of a. ) all w/in half an hour’s distance.
doesn’t matter what i say anyway; she’s unhappy and she will be until she shakes it off. i have to stop pretending i can fix anything just by brainstorming the perfect thing to say.
after dinner, to which stacey came too, liz’s parents accompanied us to the living room to watch a movie. that’s their ritual after a long week: wine, laundry folding, and video. i screwed up of course having brought over neil jordan’s the butcher boy, which, tho critically lauded, i hadn’t realized is the darkest of dark comedies. strike one for good judgement. liz and i liked it anyway. or i think liz liked it … hard when the surrounding audience keeps commenting how long/violent/incomprehensible/unwatchable it is.
and despite everything i’m serene? i guess it doesn’t make too much sense. still, i am. hopefully can make it to falconridge. i went a couple summers ago while at barnard w/ my then-roomie CA girl christine and much fun was had.
party tonite — hopefully — at annie’s. then zoo sunday, perhaps. haven’t been there in ages and yesterday i was struck by a craving. love the zoo.