best advice anyone’s given me in a while: “don’t be tempted to fast-forward.”

i always am, or nearly always. it’s my nature. i want to read the last page early on; i want to know in advance that things either will work out or won’t, or more generally how shit ends. i don’t like surprises, really, or being taken off guard — i guess i don’t trust myself, or life, enuf.

i have to learn to enjoy things as they happen.

tonite was lovely. met ilana at skool, rescued her from reunion awkwardness, brought her to nomi’s house. all three of us went to the playground and discussed women’s issues (whahoo!) (no really.) tamar joined us. lots of laughter. i told the story about how yesterday, when becca and i were shopping, we stopped in the feminine products aisle. the display is mesmerizing: plastic box after plastic box of pinkbluepinkbluegreenpinkblue. “aren’t they allowed to use any color but pastel?” i asked. “yeah,” said becca. “they should make one black. like, ‘this is what you feel like.'”

we were all on the same wavelength. that’s one of the best feelings in the world. finishing each other’s sentences, telling each other’s stories, everyone just for a few hours cheerful and content.

yay solstice.

tomorrow i get to meet patricia ireland too. sweet, man.

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